You should read this very fastTry and picture a dinosaur riding a tractor out in a field. Badass, right? So all of a sudden the farmer comes out and starts speaking redneck at the dinosaur saying things like 'teh fuk u doin on meh. tractur. in. meh. FELD!?' and the dinosaur is all FUCK YOU I'M A DINOSAUR RAWRRRRR! And so he eats him and gets back on the tractor and rides to a far away land where Polar bears have jetpacks and giraffes have wings and can fly and when he gets there they wont let him in because he has a tractor and everyone knows that Polar bears and Giraffes despise tractors because they aren't purple and so the dinosaur is all BWAH GOD I'M A DINOSAUR and he smashes the gate down with his tractor even though it's a tractor and the odds of smashing down such a big gate is highly unlikely with such a machine but he does it anyways because he's a dinosaur and dinosaurs can land on the moon and stuff and he starts running all the penguins on skateboards over because those represent the bulk of the defenses and because they throw oranges and fart Tom Arnold one liners and then the polar bears launch into the air along with the giraffes and the dinosaur is all BWAH GOD and then suddenly every polar bear whips out dual P90's and the Giraffes start charging their lazers and the dinosaur is all OH JEBUS and so he launches out of the tractor by doing a backflip off of the tractor and lands it and then leaps into the sky where a fighter jet randomly appears and the dinosaur gets into it and starts a star war with the Giraffes and Polar Bears and as time passes the Giraffes and Polars realize they are losing and then it comes down to only one polar bear on a jetpack with dual P90s and the dinosaur uses his lock on system and fires on the polar bear, disintegrating him and as he dissolves into poptarts the dinosaur flies through the asplosion and shouts BWAH GOD and then goes home where he is happy and it's quiet and there's tea and an issue of Variety magazine waiting in his mailbox because everyone knows that dinosaurs love reading Variety and so he sips his tea and reads his Variety and then he gets sleepy so he goes to sleep for four years and poops his pants. |
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