Why do i do it to myself?Note: I'm drunk right now so i'm not really the person you know.i always feel so depressed when i'm alone and drunk i don't know why i drink at all. i feel like shit right now and its because when i drink it weakens the strict control i have over my emotions. i'm fine while i'm with people but once i'm alone that's all i can think about. i'm alone i don't have anyone that gives a shit about me. if i were to die right now, people would be sad for a bit but i'd be soon forgotten in their day to day lives. i have no one to love and no one that loves me and its been years since i have had either. Love is the most addictive drug in the world. you never get past the withdrawal and it eventually wears you down to nothing if you can't get another fix. Whoever said "It is better to have loved and lost than to never love at all" is full of fucking shit... Because ignorance is fucking bliss! I don't know why i'm doing this. i guess its a slight relief of my emotion an will help me get through the night. so i leave you with this: my life is a pile of steaming shit and i wish it would either change or end because this shit is fucking getting to me. P.S.: on a lighter note i got a free $20 out of a broken ATM and drank for free tonight... that tells me that god wants me to suffer but he'll use his own money to make it happen... |
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I don't play D&D 
*hugs*
